A Study in Pointlessness

Just a few days ago, the University of Dundee - my hometown - published the results of their investigation into the congenital nature of our tastes in food.

It seems obese people may be the hapless victims of a genetic sweet tooth.

As I've said before, fat folks don't need another excuse for being fat, but there it is anyway.

That aside, what bloody use is this 'information' to anyone? Who benefits from confirmation that we are born with sweet or savoury tastes?

This comes hard on the heels of another Uni of Dundee study, that one bad-mouthing forward-facing pushchairs. They screw up your baby's social skills, it seems.

What is it with academics? Why do they enjoy studying subjects of no consequence? Fat people will still overeat and be fat, mothers will still buy traditional baby-buggies.

Maybe I'll apply for state funding, carry out my own probe - into the motivations of boffins who study utter crap.


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More Carr-y-On

Comedian Alan Carr is the latest celeb to apologise for doing nothing and harming no-one.

The camp comic took one of Saturday night's British Comedy Awards, then commented to press that he'd dedicated the award to Karen Matthews - convicted last week of abducting and falsely imprisoning her own daughter.

Who has a right to claim offence at such a statement?

Shahid Malik MP, the Junior Justice Minister, has had a go, branding Carr's gag sick. How very original, Mr Malik. Could it be that you care no more than the rest of us, but have taken this opportunity to raise your own profile and perhaps that of your party?

Malik said: I think most people will think it to be sick and insensitive, and people will be disgusted with him at a time when many people are looking closely at the comic/comedian profession anyway.

Vague, speculative rubbish. Most people in reality will be indifferent, self-absorption being the human way. And exactly who are the 'many people' who are 'looking' at the comedian profession? Go on, Malik - who?

Karen Matthews and Michael Donovan have been convicted, but not yet sentenced. How much can Alan Carr's statement really influence the sentencing? Not at all is the simple answer. His wisecrack certainly cannot do any more harm than weeks of Matthews' dirty laundry being aired in public by the tabloid press.

So Shahid Malik MP is a self-serving git. And Alan Carr is a wimp. Having done no-one any harm, he ought to have had the guts to resist apologising.


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Jumpin' Jack Flash

John 'Captain Jack' Barrowman, the Scotsman-with-a-Yank-accent star of stage and screen, has apologised together with the BBC, after exposing himself live on RADIO!

The Torchwood actor (pictured) apparently known for whipping it out for fun during interviews, guested on Annie Mac and Nick Grimshaw's Sunday night Switch programme on BBC Radio 1. Grimshaw asked Barrowman about said habit, prompting the flashing stunt.

A single listener complained, forcing the beleaguered Beeb to issue an apology for Barrowman's conduct. Even though it was radio. Indeed, Annie Mac apologised on air after the show - no doubt mindful of the recent Manuelgate carry-on over at Radio 2.

So let's review. John Barrowman flashed John Thomas, prompted by his interviewer. No-one saw this because it was radio not television, yet one tight-ass complained formally, got the apology he or she wanted.

Is this more horseshit to heap more pressure on certain BBC executives? Funny that two radio incidents have occured in quick succession.

Also, it sets a worrying precedent. Should I apologise for typing this post naked? Does it make it worse that I'm thinking about John Barrowman?


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